My life is not tht brilliant

how can i 'close' my eyes? it is already 5.30am n i'm still  'alive'.. it feels like a piece of shit..
how can i manage to solve this problem?
do u noe tht i have a dream?
becoming a pilot is my dream..
n of coz to fly an airbus like a330,a340,a380 and boeing 777-200ER or b777-300ER are my 5 biggest dreams.
i love all these 5
i just cant wait to become an ace pilot in command..i mean ace captain in command actually.

boeing 777-200er

airbus a380 n boeing b777-200ER

i love all my family members.especially my parents.
i'm not a rich small baby or boy or guy or young man or an old man..
i got no money.
i'm not a gud looking human being..
i'm not interested to color my hair..
i'm not interested to have even a single jeans coz i dun wear any jeans
i dont play football..but i hate manchester united n i love barcelona
i have 5 different active email adresses from yahoo,ymail,live,hotmail n gmail
i have 3 different sim cards
i'm not a great cook..
i dont wear converse shoes coz i just hate tht bloody converse so much
just like tropicana,radioactive,billabong,quiksilver,roxy,topman..same shit but came from truly holy stupid different brands..
but i got no money 4 ralph lauren,hugo boss,prada,lacoste etc
n of cos i don really like japanese watches actually such as casio,seiko,timex..
i love swiss made such as tissot,swatch,maurice lacroix,chopard,oris,tag heuer
n i got no money at all to buy all these..
i got more 5 different brands of shoes..nike or puma or asics tiger onitsuka or etc.that is all i got btw.
yet i have noe idea which is the bes shoes 4 me
i hate crocs because of pasar mlm
i went to disco once in my life..
unlike my frens, i dun smoke and i dun drink any champagne,wine,beer,vodka or whiskey
i dont have any rayban aviator coz of mat rempit..i only got a rayban rb3391 and a very special edition oakley ducati hijinx..

i dont have any mercedes,bmw,rolls royce or jaguar to drive..
i used to drive my mum's perodua kelisa (arowana).
i hate mercedes,honda,lancia,yamaha n ferrari n korean made like hyundai,kia and ssang yong
but i do love.of coz toyota,lexus,audi,ducati,lamborghini,holden,peugeot,citroen n vw
i hate speed limit.i got no speed limit in my soul.
i hate slow cars n slow drivers..

i love my mum's kelisa

i hate backstabber..i have a friend n i used to call him/her as backstabber..he/she is my truly fren.i 'luf' u mate~~~

i got no more special fren or bes frens like ever before.she's gone to the somewhere in the middle of nowhere..i lost her..n i miss her..
i dun noe which one is which and which one is the bes. either flower or vanderbilt.i only have a single chance n i'll make a choice sooner or later within 8 years time n as a pilot decision making is very 'crucial'.
i just want to spend the rest of my lifetime with my family members, my soulmate n my frens
i have to spend my time n think of everythng i've got..
think a lot..
i will still b here tomorrow but my dreams may not